My roomie and her awesomeness today

*sniffs expo marker* This smells like whiskey. Jamesons Whiskey to be exact. Which I hate.

My Boobs are too big! *said like the cartoon who says My spoon is too big*


Me: I was looking for the answer in your face! You ruined it Roomie, You ruined the romance!
Roomie: *serious face* No, I won't marry you.


Superpower of the day: The ability to toast things with my mind.

She's like seriously narcissistic. She has issues. She like welcomes her demise. *In reference to The Last Unicorn.*

--My roomie is licking her plate of parm cheese that was on a Matzos cracker she had been eating.--
*lick, nom, lick, nom* 


--Ok my roomie sounds like really crazy right now. She is talking to herself and quoting things from the movie she is watching...last quote she said,-- He is a true magician. 

I would bite you, except that would be awkward, unless  it's a Jew then it's socially acceptable.


I have a great idea! *Holds up a cork screw from my swiss army knife* Stick this in the coils down there. *pointing to my toaster oven*


You forgive me for burning you luffas? 
Me: *concerned look*
You are gonna look for all your luffas now and see which one is burnt aren't you? Just do me a favor when you get home, check all your luffas.

I'm not crazy today, I just had a really good Orthodox Class.


I need something with Peanut butter in it. Oh, hey a Bible.

This skirt is the sweat pants of summer.


Oh my god! A red bull! It's gonna kill the Unicorn! Look *shows me* I'm not kidding it's gonna kill the flippin' unicorn. RUN! Wait...why is there a red bull?


 *Puts head phones near mouth, then drops them* I keep forgetting not put these in my mouth, they're disgusting.


--Ok my roomie knows I'm doing this and she still isn't watching her mouth--Let me run around naked and run into trees.


I need to change my name. *Looks at me* It's not funny, I'm serious.




oh purr purr. do that, do that. That be nice.