School.

So normally I write about the funny things that happen and what not but this is something serious. I am struggling so much in school. I mean I can't grasp anything that goes on in class and no matter how much I study it doesn't stay. I want to go home and just start over new. I mean I feel that would be better. Also it just seems that I am falling apart at the seams. I need to get back above water and feel better. Part of me wonders if I should leave my boyfriend (which I don't want to do) but being in a relationship is part of my distractions. I mean I deactivated my account on FB so that I have one less distraction. I can't leave my boyfriend though because I truly care about him and I really think that he is "the one", ya' know? I can't break his and my heart too. I know the whole thing if it was meant to be it will work out. I know he doesn't want to distract me either and I'm sure if I told him that we need to stop talking so much or what not I know that he would understand.
I really love this kid and I worry about him all the time. I mean I want to marry him one day that is how much I love the kid. Like I said I'm worried about him. I can see that he is always hurting and I wish I could help him, but like a man he doesn't open up well. Which I mean I can't force him and I also can't force him to talk to and see God. I mean I feel like God would be good for him. Someone he can talk to that isn't me. My bf just is a realist. He needs proof and I can't prove to him that God is real. I know God is real because 5 years ago I almost died and God gave me a second chance. I know personally but I don't know how to get Stephen to see personally that God loves him and is there.
Sorry off topic. School. I don't think I am going to return to EU. I need to be home. I need to get a job there. I feel better there. I need to be happy again.

-Bexx